Many moons ago a French winger by the name of Thierry Henry came to Arsenal as a Juventus flop and was tasked with replacing a troublesome, sulky team striker by the name of Nicolas Anelka – an odd character who continually moaned about his plight and was shifted off to Real Madrid. For nearly a decade, Thierry was one of the most lethal strikers the Premiership had ever seen and the media and fans quickly ran out of superlatives.
One day Thierry had enough of North London and decided that his future lay elsewhere, his loving fans accepted this and on the whole wish him well in his future in the game (knowing full well that in a manner of months Arsenal will draw Barcelona in the Champions League knock-out stages.)
Meanwhile in the intervening period Nicolas Anelka has flitted from club to club in four countries with varying success, ending up at Bolton. The quintessential ‘troubled teen’ of the football world, a man with potential who never quite had the mental strength to match it. Now, Arsenal seem to be looking at the journeyman striker to replace one of the sport’s best ever players.
A hilarious joke rife with irony? Not according to the best, most reliable source ever, the News Of The World,
A source close to the Arsenal boss said: “Arsene reluctantly allowed Thierry to go. It is sad for everyone concerned but Thierry made it clear that this is what he wants to do. And Arsene definitely believes Anelka is the ideal replacement.”
The final insult for Arsenal fans will come when Bolton inevitably demand £16.1 m for his services, just to make things even more fun.